Is your Facebook page is full of Fakebook friends, just like your life? You know the ones. They’re hiding amidst all those friends you love, never calling to meet for vino, just keeping close tabs on you in secret. You can’t count on their support, not even to like your posts, listen to your troubles, your success, or even to gab the gab with. Maybe they aren’t really your friends after all, despite appearances.
As we get older, gal pals seem to be more valuable than ever. These days, women and friendships are complicated and choosing a friend is like choosing a brand. You want reliability, longevity, and truthfulness. You want quality over quantity. You want connections with people who deserve the title of friend, because that word means a lot to you.
Is it time to weed through your friends’ list? Ready to handpick the long-lasting kind? Check this out.
What you need to know about Women and Friendships
5 SIGNS SHE’S NOT YOUR TRUE FRIEND
1. She’s the stalker type.
Come to think of it, she’s more a stalker than a friend. Your phone is buzzing away with her texts and calls and suddenly you realize she’s all over every aspect of your life. This isn’t how friendships are built.
2. She’s all about her.
Is she obsessed with herself? It’s easy to know. If all you talk about is her life — her problems, her successes — and she’s always hijacking conversations, chances are, there’s no room in the friendship for you.
3. She’s too fast.
She’s leaving you no space to get to know her naturally. If she’s all in before you even know her name, the friendship will feel like a blur. A wham-bam-thank you-ma’am friendship won’t work because she’ll be out as fast as she was in.
4. She’s all talk.
She says yes every time you suggest dates and times for coffee or lunch, but somehow she never quite commits. If you’re aways the one calling, you know the friendship is one-sided. A relationship of any kind takes two, with both of you operating at near to equal frequencies.
5. She’s after something.
She’s friends for a reason — but that reason is not you. She’s cozying up to your man or your friends or whatever else you’ve got that she wants. But when you need her, she’s never available.
5 TIPS TO HELP YOU SHRUG HER OFF
1. Read her actions.
It sounds cliche but actions really do speak louder than words. Seeing the truth is hard, especially if you like her, but getting real now is easier than later.
2. Don’t blame yourself.
It’s always sad and sometimes inexplicable why friendships end, but trust that the Big Kahuna has better plans for you. If you’re honest, you’ll see that the friendship may have caused more heartache than happy.
3. Check your pattern.
Was this breakup a one-off or a pattern with you? The distinction is important because you want to know if you’re attracting bad friends. Do an honest evaluation. If you’re contributing to the problem, even by being blind, it’s time to learn from the experience.
4. Set boundaries.
Be clear about your expectations of friends, whether that’s high maintenance, low maintenance or somewhere in between. Set the tone early, and speak up when she crosses that line. Get to know each other slowly and naturally, and be honest.
5. Don’t be discouraged.
Many friendships come and go. Keep putting positive vibes out there and don’t be afraid to connect with people. Friends are blessings and when true ones come along, you’ll know.
