My husband refuses to accept the fact that I want to leave him, and over the past 11 months, he has played every cruel trick to make it impossible. Mind games, self-harm and manipulation are his weapons against me. My husband is a narcissist and I am his victim, trapped by a legal system that is a tangled web of rules that more often than not work against the victim.
There is no happiness when you’re married to a narcissist. The narcissist makes sure of that. They get satisfaction from stripping down your confidence, from withholding affection, from mocking your interests and successes. Soon there is only sadness, depression, and loneliness. That dark place has been where I have lived for the past four years, and I knew that I would do anything to crawl out of that darkness. ANYTHING!
People cheat for many reasons and there is no way that an outsider can even begin to understand how or why it happened. Many say that cheating is selfish, and yes, the reasons are always selfish. I am selfish for wanting to feel good about myself again. I am selfish for needing to feel appreciated and loved. I am selfish for missing the sound of my own laughter.
Sneaking around to be with another man is not the way in which I want to feel loved and feel joy, and many would label it as cheating, but there are things that are worse than cheating…
1. Knowing that there IS a way to be happy in your life—and not taking it out of fear of what others will think.
2. Judging any person for their decisions.
3. Feeling smug satisfaction that Karma set someone straight.
So I will continue to fight for my separation and I will continue to steal away to my happy place, and Karma can just go ahead and sit her ass down because I do not deserve to be punished down the road for my decisions. I have paid my dues well in advance, and I am sure that Angelina and Brad have both paid a tragic price that led them to this point. I hope that they have an amicable separation and wish them nothing but happiness and love in their future.
Ms. Grey is a Brazen Woman reader and a member of our exclusive Facebook Group, The Brazen Insiders, a supportive place to share (join us!) your thoughts and opinions. She chooses to remain anonymous—this time.