With Valentine’s Day approaching, you may be thinking about whether or not you have the kind of love you need in your life. Well, do you? Are you wishing you had that Red Hot Love where you can’t seem to stop thinking or touching one another, that love filled with passion and heat every second of the day and night?

Yes, no, maybe? Let’s think about what Red-hot Love is and whether it’s something you really want to find—or not.

What is Red Hot Love, anyway?

Passion Forward: How to Find a Red Hot LoverRed-hot Love is loaded with mind-blowing sex and heartfelt emotional connection. The drama can take you from despair to rapture. And the passion may be wild and crazy. But Red-hot Love isn’t for everyone.

The key to love life success is having enough love between you and not burning it out in frustrated attempts to make your relationship work. So you need to understand the type of love you want and then use the principles that make it work well.

Step 1: Think About What Makes the Love Red-hot.

Passion is the governor of Red-hot Lovers. It can be powerful and barely controllable and you might feel that it will overtake you at times. Or, it can be a delicate, intuitive sense much like an artisan has for his/her craft.

Bear in mind that passion in life and love needs a power source, something that drives the individual, such as:

  • Heartbreak: You don’t understand how or why someone passionately loves you and then loses that love.
  • Challenge: You need to find someone who ticks all your boxes and has the tenacity to pursue you.
  • Pursuit: It’s important for you to tap into your deepest feelings to determine if you should go after a particular lover, whether or not this makes sense to anyone else.
  • Gallantry: You strive to do everything in your power to rescue your lover from a life without your love and protection.
  • Vindication: Having felt a perfect love and then something went wrong, you desperately want it restored.
  • Attention: You thrive on the spotlight, having your innermost wants and needs understood and met.

Step 2: Try to Engage with Red-hot Lovers.

Because these lovers are driven by passion, you’re going to need to feel your way to find them. These are individuals capable of love at first sight, driving for three hours to give you a kiss and proposing after two dates.

They generally dislike being ignored, sidelined or overlooked. While it’s possible to have a relationship with a Red-hot Lover and pay little attention to him for a time, it’s probably not a good idea to make that a habit. Typically, they enjoy drama and want you in it to a greater or lesser extent.

Step 3: Screen your Potential Lovers.

Remember that passion has a downside. It can be finicky and difficult; it may even fizzle out temporarily or permanently. Pay close attention to the strength, endurance and characteristics of the individual’s passion.

Red-hot Lovers can be hypersensitive to losing love. They may be so worried about having their hearts broken that they almost invite rejection. It can be really difficult for the ones who play hard to get to stop the game. Some Red-hot Lovers literally freak out if they fear the bond is broken between you, or they have to accept a lesser love. There are those who simply can’t take feeling misunderstood or worse, invisible.

Red-hot Lovers are people whose passion can make them lose their perspective. It may seem as though they have blinders on. When they’re in this kind of state, it can be very hard for them to hear a voice of reason.

Step 4: Develop Flow Between You.

Red-hot Lovers are passion-seekers; they are passion-lovers. They are capable of having sensitivity, delicacy, meaning and purpose in their love lives. Plus, they naturally generate drive and intensity. Deep down, they want to be fulfilled by love; they see themselves as the quintessential great lovers of all time.

Bear in mind the difficulties and concerns that go with your Red-hot Lover. Try to be very clear and plan for the fact that you’re dealing with someone who can be high maintenance.

Should you choose to seek out a Red-hot Lover and develop a romantic and passionate relationship, you may have a love-life that feels amazing. Others could see your passion from miles away, feel it in the air and recognize that it’s a force to be reckoned with. You might even be the one who says something cheesy like This is bigger than both of us.

Wendy Brown, individual and couples therapist, award-winning author, recently launched her second book The Six Passions of the Red-hot Lover. .

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