Arggghhhhhhhhhhhh. Here’s the scene. Big emotions hang heavy in the air, tissues sit crumpled on the bedside table, the echos of an argument still cling to the walls. Yeah, we know the drill and we can see the wagging finger now—Never go to bed mad!—but let’s get real. When you’re in the heat of an emotional discussion with your partner, there’s not nearly enough time to kiss and make up before you hit the sheets.

Truth: No matter what happened, who done it (or didn’t done it), admitting you were wrong can feel like mission impossible. And forgiving? WTF?

Kiss and Make Up- What to Do When Sorry Doesn't Cut itThe worst is when one of you finally lets out a pathetic Uh, sorry…, and it falls flat. That sorry does zero to resolve the conflict and even escalates the drama. 

If you’ve tried saying sorry and got bitch-slapped for your trouble, or if you just bitch-slapped your partner because they tried to say sorry to you, and now someone needs a reminder there are hearts still in the game, there is something you can do. Give your head a shake, put on a smile, and plan a kiss-and-make-up lunch. 

Could an hour be a game changer? You bet it can. Here’s how.



Rent a hotel room…for an hour over lunch. Send the hotel key and a note with the room number, and tell your partner to meet you at noon. You’ve only got an hour, so come prepared (wait naked on the bed?).

Budget-wise version: Send a note to have your partner please remove all clothing upon entering house because ‘naked lunch’ will be waiting. Then make sure you’ve got some rules. For instance, meet at the front door and kiss and make up anywhere BUT the bedroom. New and different places create passion, and will make you use your bodies, and your home, in new and different ways.


Pack a picnic lunch and meet in a park. Take the opportunity to quietly eat together, feed each other, and whisper sweet nothings (and sweet sorrys) in each other’s ears. Tell him just how much you care, love, and desire him. This is your chance to forgive each other, and talk about your future. If you’ve had a break in your day to feel the wind on your skin and kiss at the same time, slowly and passionately, you’ll be more productive anyway.  Now get back to work!


Relationship 101: 10 Smart Ways to Kiss and Make UpSurprise your partner by hand delivering a vase of flowers, or a plant—anything alive and thriving. Nothing says sorry… I love you… I screwed up… or I forgive you like something growing that you personally put in the hands of your mate. Yes, for sure it’s cliche, but when you literally take the time to stop and smell the flowers together, you are giving each other your time and energy. The message? You’re worth it.


Hand-deliver a brown bagged, sexy lunch to your partner. Instead of dessert, put something sweeter in there. A tube of lube? A blindfold? Panties? Choc covered strawberries? Fresh flower petals? A Condom? Naked pic? Vibrator with an app he can control from afar? What you’re saying here is: Let’s have fun together today. Pack that lunch, and the rest will be history.


Show up unannounced at your partner’s work dressed to kill. What? You forgot your panties with that skirt? Find a private spot at work to kiss and have a little fun. Close the office door, hide out in the janitor’s room, or do it in the stairwell or the basement. Add the sweet element of danger to crank up the passion at the office. 


Remember when the only place that was private was the car? Pick up some takeout and your honey. Find a secluded make-out spot with a view and eat your lunch quickly, right there in the car. Kiss and make out and enjoy the awkwardness of trying to get close in a vehicle (Damn steering wheel!). Got those windows all steamy? Good.  


Buy your partner new lingerie, clothing, an outfit, shirt, pants, or accessory that you find attractive. Meet for lunch and hand over your gift, with a note that describes exactly what you’d like them to do with it. Example: Please be wearing this, and only this, and be waiting for me in the bedroom at 5:30 sharp. Kiss, giggle, hold hands, touch each other, then start counting down the minutes.

Kiss and Make Up- What to Do When Sorry Doesn't Cut it8. WRITE IT DOWN

Send a love note—an actual note, not a text or sext, early in the morning. You may have to hand deliver it, or entrust it to a friend or courier, but be sure to add your personal touch (a kiss with lipstick, a spray of your scent). Be mushy and romantic, but don’t be scared to get graphic. No one’s going to hit share on the Internet. This is handwritten, remember? 


Send dirty pics of yourself throughout the morning. A flash of cleavage and lace, a boxer-shorted ass, jeans featuring a large, desirable package. Naked selfies if you dare. Add sweet nothings in between dirty pics, or photoshop your photos just how you like them. When photos come first, that lunch will be beyond spicy and so will your sorry.  


If you’ve been holding out on what your partner really, really wants, now may be the time to give in. Think about their fantasies and their desires. Can you do it? Can you go the distance and risk trying something new? Pushing yourselves out of your boxes really is the ideal way to let your partner know you’re in love and willing to compromise.

About the author

Tina O'Connor

Tina O’Connor is an on-air personality and relationship expert who focuses on parenting, sex and lifestyle issues — with a feng shui twist. She is the author and creator of the popular "Be That" book series, whose titles include "Be That Girl," "Be That Mom" and "Be That Kinky Girl," providing women and couples everywhere with concrete strategies to achieve more balance, happiness, peace and success in their lives. Tina holds a BSc in psychology and is a certified feng shui practitioner and mom of three who appears regularly on Global, CTV and Rogers TV stations across Canada. She has also appeared as a guest on a wide variety of radio stations, from CBC to Playboy Radio. With her straight-talking approach and dynamic personality, Tina gives real-world advice with a flair for entertainment. She truly is "That Girl."

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