You’re sitting on the sofa watching TV. You look over at your man. You’ve got an itch that needs scratching, but he’s had a hard week at work and has been moody. You try to get his attention by stretching and making noise. You move closer to him, but he ignores you, eyes on his show.
You get up and start banging around in the kitchen.
He finally looks up, confused about why you’re mad.
Or maybe this happens. You’ve had a crazy day and haven’t stopped for hours. You’re exhausted. All you can think about is curling up in bed with a good book. To make sure he gets the picture, you’ve changed into woolly socks and your least sexy flannel pjs. Your guy sidles up behind you as you’re taking off your makeup and tries to cop a feel. You shrug him off and he walks off without a word, feelings hurt.
They say men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, and they’re right.
BAN BOREDOM: HOW TO HEAT UP YOUR SEX LIFE
Whether you’ve been in a relationship for a long time or you’re just circling each other, you probably communicate very differently from your significant other.
But opening up, sharing, and figuring out how to get each other is essential. Yep, we’re talking intimacy and communication, especially when it comes to sex (and how the rest of your life interferes with it).
There are more benefits to intimacy than the obvious sexual satisfaction. From lowering stress, to improving sleep, to strengthening your bond with your partner, a strong connection is worth working at. So, how to you achieve intimacy? Well, it may seem obvious, but the best way to is to simply talk to each other about it. However, a recent survey from K-Y revealed that 22% of Canadians in a relationship don’t talk about sex at all.
Furthermore, when asked who most often initiates sex in the relationship, men were four times more likely to put up their hands. They are the regular initiator – and therefore the most hurt when rejected. There may be many reasons that women don’t initiate sex, but no matter why, you can and should ask for what you want and take the driver’s seat in your love life. But how? Sometimes saying out loud can feel intimidating. Popping a note in your man’s coat or sending a quick text (yep, we’re talking sexting) can help shake off inhibitions.
Build anticipation: Suggest a massage to boost feelings of intimacy and to build anticipation for what’s to come. Try K-Y® TOUCH® 2-in-1 Warming® Massage Oil and Personal Lubricant, which can be used as a massage oil and is a great way to enhance foreplay and intimacy.
Establish an I’m in the mood code: Between the two of you, come up with a word or a phrase you can say in front of others that signals when you’re in the mood.
Change the timing: Instead of initiating sex when it’s expected, take him by surprise (closet, anyone?).
Plan and prepare: A little bit of planning can go a long way, especially for women who often need things to be just right. So make sure you’re feeling good about yourself, and that you have a personal lubricant on hand so you can enjoy the added comfort when the time comes. photo credit: Dale Joseph Bolender via photopin cc