What is it that has us hooked on The Bachelorette? Is it the fact that it’s a modern “reality” version of the soap operas of our youth? Is it the train wreck that seems to blindside at least one buff dude at the end of each show? Or is it the inevitable slew of bad boys we see parading around in all their ego glory?
On JoJo’s season, we’re learning that bad boys come in many varieties. There’s Chad, the “violent” bad boy. There’s Jordan. He’s rumoured to be the “cheating” bad boy. And then there’s Daniel, clearly the “party” bad boy.
What have we learned so far about dealing with bad boys? Don’t do it. Even if you’re not a fan of The Bachelorette (Oh come on, what else have you go to do on Monday nights?), we’re guessing that if you’re dating, you’ve had your share of bad boy crap.
But if you’re not quite sure who you’re dealing with, it’s time to find out. Here are some tips to teach you what to look for—so you can run the other way.
How to Spot a Bad Boy: 5 Different Types
1. THE CHEATING BAD BOY
What you notice:
If you notice the object of your affection has started getting moody and picking fights for no reason or being overly nice unexpectedly, this may be a red flag. If you start to notice non-typical behaviour, then your hunch may be right on.
What to ask yourself:
- Does his phone ring and he quickly answers and disappears?
- Does he have “new friends” at work and/or more work responsibilities?
- Is he secretive with his technology?
- Is he suddenly more careful with his appearance?
- Has your sex life changed?
What to do:
While these aren’t foolproof signs of cheating, a combination of them may point to the fact you’re not his one and only. The best advice is to follow your gut instinct and if you feel there’s something going on, it may be time to confront him.
2. THE HOT HEAD BAD BOY
What you notice:
If you feel like you are getting the brunt of his manic anger, and you’re concerned he may have anger management issues, you may be right.
What to ask yourself:
- Is he criticizing, belittling, and putting you down?
- Does he lack patience?
- Is he irritable, short-tempered and blaming everyone and everything else?
- Does he fly off the handle at the smallest thing?
- Do you feel like you’re living with Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde?
What to do:
No one deserves to be treated badly because of someone else’s anger issues. Constant put downs are bad for you and continually walking on eggshells around this person will eventually become a burden. Do yourself a favour and move on!
3. THE NON-COMMITTAL BAD BOY
What you notice:
When you’re genuinely looking for Mr. Right and a committed partner, there’s nothing worse than wasting your time with someone who is simply looking for Miss Right Now. If you find yourself debating whether the person you’re dating is the non-committal type, it may be time to slow down.
What to ask yourself:
- Does he have a history of being non-committal?
- Are the people he hangs out with non-committal types?
- Are there large gaps in-between the times you communicate?
- Does he spend most of the time talking about himself and little time asking you questions and finding out more about you?
- Does he talk about the future and the things he wants to do but none of it involves you?
What to do:
If you answered yes to most of these questions, you likely have a non-committal type on your hands and there’s not much you can do to change him. Yes, some people can change, but if he’s not making the move to progress your relationship, you’re not the one who’s going to change him into a committing man.
4. THE SELF-LOVING BAD BOY
What you notice:
There’s a thin line between a big ego and good self-confidence. At first, it may play out like he’s just has healthy self-esteem, but the further you go into the relationship, the more you realize he loves himself way more than he loves you.
What to ask yourself:
- Does he talk about himself constantly?
- Does he look out for himself first?
- Does he look to you for an added ego boost?
- Does he compare himself to other people?
- Does he not seem present when you’re together?
What to do:
If you answered yes to even a few of these questions, you’re most likely dating an ego-maniac. He’s a self-loving bad boy who’s not worth your time or attention. And trust us, he wants your attention—and everyone else’s.
5. THE PARTY BAD BOY
What you notice:
Dating the “life of the party” is fun for a very short amount of time. If he’s all about the party, then he may not be ready for a serious relationship.
What to ask yourself:
- Is he more interested in drinking and the next night out than he is with me?
- Is he spending all night partying with friends?
- Am I always feeling ignored around him?
- Is he always under the influence in order to have a good time?
What to do:
If he’s in his 30s or older, then buyer beware—your man is living a prolonged adolescence. It might be fun for a few dates, but this is most likely not what you had in mind when looking for a partner. Cut and run before you invest any more time in a relationship based on partying.
Justin Lavelle is Communications Director at PeopleLooker, a leading source of online background checks and contact info that gives you the ability to check if he’s who he says he is. Get more info about people, phone numbers, email addresses, property records and criminal records in a way that’s fast, easy and affordable.
