Ah, new love, that hot and heavy time when your sex life is roaring at its peak. It’s so hot it sometimes hurts, but in the best possible way. But then, for most of us, there are those inevitable dry spells. What was once a relationship full of passion seems to cool, and you find that spark dying out, especially if you’ve been together for a long time. How do you rekindle the spark in your sex life? By using sex toys, of course.

Wondering why your sex life is dry? Here are a few reasons

When things get boring in the bedroom, it’s time to try spicing things up. But, where do you start?

How do I rekindle the spark in your sex life? Hello sex toys!

No matter how new or old your relationship is, you have to keep building your way up by staying open to trying new things. These are the kind of things that may make you blush and get slightly uncomfortable to talk about with your significant other.

How to Choose Sex Toys That Will Rekindle the SparkLet’s assume that by now, you’ve tried moving the birds and the bees out of the bedroom and instead spiced it up on the kitchen table, in the rocking recliner, or on the big exercise ball that sits in the corner collecting dust. Let’s also assume you’ve bought the Kamasutra with the intention of checking off every position in the book, but somehow it landed under the bed over a year ago and hasn’t see the light of day since.

Well, now it’s time to bring in the sex toys aka bedroom novelties, better known as vibrators, cock-rings, possibly even a strap-on.

Did you just blush? Then we’re in the right department for your relationship needs. If you’ve just shrugged and said, “Been there, done that,” then maybe it’s time for a few kinky games. But first, sex toys.

Here are some kinky games to fire up your bedroom

How do I pick sex toys?

When my husband and I first talked about buying a vibrator, we were nervously excited. Buying toys online was not a common thing when we started to venture in that department. In fact, I doubt there were many of those online stores, so we ended up at our local adult shop.

Here’s my suggestion when you go into one of these places, or when you decide to order them as a couple online. If the toy is being used on you, you should be the one picking it. Don’t let him pick the light-up vibrator that barely has any power because he thinks it would be cool to see if it lights up your body from the inside out.

Instead, pick ones that appeal to you, keeping in mind that most women orgasm primarily from the clit, so you’ll want one that’s going to buzz that little bud at the same time it penetrates you. If it’s being used on him, he should be the one to pick it. If your man is willing to put on a cock-ring, don’t force him to pick that scary metal one that wraps all the way around the base of the penis including his balls, because you hear it’s guaranteed to make him last longer. If the blue rubber one appeals to him, that’s where you start.

How to Choose Sex Toys That Will Rekindle the Spark

The Vibrating Cock-Ring

You can always move up to different toys in the future, and that is the goal when you’re experimenting with adult novelties: grow in size and style as a couple.

Which sex toys should I try?

One toy I would recommend for use as a couple is the vibrating cock-ring. The rubber cock-ring has a very small vibrator attached to it, which will vibrate your clit in the perfect way to guarantee a climax.

Side note: This particular toy works best when he’s standing and you are lying on the edge of the bed. It doesn’t feel good in the missionary position because it grinds into you in a slightly painful way. Keep in mind, though, that not every vibrating cock-ring is built the same and if your man is well-endowed, you’re going to want one that is fairly stretchy or he may not be able to climax with the toy on, and the purpose of the toy is for you both to enjoy it.

How to Choose Sex Toys That Will Rekindle the Spark

The Butterfly Kiss

Another toy I recommend to every couple is called the Butterfly Kisses vibrator. Every woman needs this toy. I love this toy so much; we’ve personally burned out three of them. Not only does it cover the clit, but the head of it is short enough to hit your G-spot.

You may have just asked, “How does that make it a good couple’s toy?” Because with a little time and a bit of stretching, this vibrator is small enough, in most cases, to fit your man inside you with the vibrator. If you couldn’t reach your G-spot with the vibrator alone, wait until he is inside you with this magical butterfly. It’s guaranteed to give you an orgasm like you’ve never felt before, and he benefits from the vibrating toy as well. It’s a win, win.

While it can be difficult and maybe even awkward to venture into these realms of romance, delving into these different areas can open many new doors of communication and relationship satisfaction.

BSM Stoneking, author of this post, is also a bestselling erotic and romance author, best known for her novel Capture’s Temperance. With her strong fan following and fresh insight, Stoneking has solidified herself as a renowned sex expert. 

About the author

BSM Stoneking

BSM Stoneking is best known for her supernatural erotic series, The Vampires Ange De La Mort.
Her 2016 release of novel, Capture's Temperance bumped her to one of Americas best selling authors in BDSM romance.
She is also a renowned sex expert.

Get Brazen In Your Inbox

Sign up to receive our daily or weekly newsletter.