To shave my legs or not to shave for this date – that is the question. Here I am, turning into a serial online dater and I’m still wondering how to do it right. Tonight will be date number four. What to do, what not to do – when you’re back out there in the dating world at 40, it all culminates with the biggest question of all – when is the ideal time to play the horizontal mambo with the new guy? I am a 40-something grown woman. A woman with needs. He’s deliciously handsome; those blue eyes, that cologne. He’s been a true gentleman on our previous dates. I’m confident that this relationship can go somewhere. I like this man. He makes me feel sexy and desirable. So I make a choice. I do it. I take the plunge and go ahead and get the razor out for date number four. Ladies, we all know what that means! For me, the time is right for sex with a new partner when:

1.  You Stop Analyzing This one is simple. When you’ve stopped agonizing over every decision you are about to make, you’ve taken a big step. Remember, you are in control of your own destiny. You make your own choices. Don’t listen to what others think is best for you. Only you know what is best for you.

2.  You Stop Thinking All Men Are Pigs This is important to remember, ladies. Not all men are like your ex-husband, ex-boyfriend or your friend’s husband. Believe me when I say there are some real great genuine men out there who are worthy of you and all you have to offer!

3.  You Just Know – Without Regrets We are women, not little girls. I’m certain that everyone reading this knows whether or not they’re ready to plunge into a sexual relationship with a man – or not. However if you do, no regrets. OK? Absolutely, NO regrets!

4.  You Just Spent $100 At Victoria Secret HELLO!!!!!  If this isn’t a sign that it’s time, I’m not sure what is. And then there’s my own personal rule: If you are looking for a relationship, wait. Not too long but, wait. Get to know the man you want to be intimate with. And let him get to know you. Be true and honest with yourself. Are you tired of having sex with a stranger? Exhausted referring to him as your “friend with benefits”? And always keep in mind that men go through the same agonizing decisions that we do. In the end, if you are looking for a good time, are confident in your decision, can sleep at night, then you have my blessing to go ahead and knock yourself out. But please, use protection!

photo credit: Lotus Carroll via photopin cc

About the author

Rhonda Binstock

Born and raised in Montreal, Qc. Defected to Toronto in 1998 (before a 5 year stint in Vancouver, B.C.) Happily divorced since 2007. Sorry, no drama between my ex-husband and I. Single working mom of two wonderful, amazing, cute-as-a button children. Knows a thing or two (ok, really a gazillion) about being single in your 40s and being called a Cougar (love or yuk when you hear that word?) Keep reading to find out.

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