The hostess at the restaurant asked the dreaded question: How many? I exhaled and replied: One. It was my first New Years as a divorcee. I’ll admit, I was depressed. My ex-husband and I were known as the couple who threw the New Years Eve party. This year there was no party. My kids were spending this holiday with their father. I was alone.

That lonely night I did something I had never done before: I blew out the candles on my pity-party cake! And that set off a blast of empowerment. I opened my email (this was way before Facebook) and invited everyone I knew to my very own New Years party. And then, as One Direction would later sing, “We danced all night to the best song ever!”

So here’s my advice if you find yourself alone and lonely this holiday season. I say it’s time to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Instead, pick yourself up and follow along.

How to Beat the Holiday Blues

Look In The Mirror

The best accessory a girl can own is confidence in herself. If you can’t see the confidence inside you, keep staring into that mirror until you do.

Create Your Destiny

You make your own decisions. Some will be good; others, bad. Either way, you own all your decisions. Don’t want to be alone during the holidays? There’s an easy remedy: Make contact. Pick up the phone, send a text/email, tweet your friends, invite people to your home. It doesn’t have to be a crazy full- blown party. An intimate dinner followed by a good chick flick and wine sounds like an awesome party to me.

Accept Invitations

If you don’t want to be alone, then don’t! If you receive an invitation, don’t decline right away but think about accepting it.

Give Yourself A Break

This is important. It really is OK to stay home and spend some “alone time” during the holidays. No one will judge you, I promise. Remember what I said about confidence? It’s true. If you confidently choose alone time, you are way more likely to enjoy it.

On that note, I wish you all a happy and healthy holiday season! Now, grab a HUGE slice of your pity-party cake and savour it! Either with or without anyone. It’s your holiday, after all.

photo credit: bambibabe48 via photopin cc

About the author

Rhonda Binstock

Born and raised in Montreal, Qc. Defected to Toronto in 1998 (before a 5 year stint in Vancouver, B.C.) Happily divorced since 2007. Sorry, no drama between my ex-husband and I. Single working mom of two wonderful, amazing, cute-as-a button children. Knows a thing or two (ok, really a gazillion) about being single in your 40s and being called a Cougar (love or yuk when you hear that word?) Keep reading to find out.

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