If you learned a killer new workout that made your body feel incredible, you’d likely share it with your friends. But when it comes to sex, women and men aren’t as likely to trade tips. That’s why we’ve got Dr. Paul Hokemeyer on the line us with the most important info you’ll read today. He’s here to get the sharing party started with five tricks to you need to pave your way to a better orgasm.

5 Steps to Reaching the Orgasm of Your LifeAccording to Dr. Paul, there’s no reason that women of all ages shouldn’t be asking for and receiving mind blowing sex. Coming, and coming again and again should be what’s expected—not an occasional phenomenon reserved for heroines in fictional novels (yes, that fictional novel).

Enough with a mediocre sex life already. Take a deep breath, relax and open yourself up to a world of new possibilities. Instead of dreaming about killer orgasms, take charge of your body and get set to experience the sex life of your dreams.


1. Your biggest sex organ is your mind.

When it comes to great sex, things like weight, age, size and shape are irrelevant. The most sexually satisfied women I work with are over 55 and wear a size 12 or larger. These women realize they’re as sexy as they think they are. By projecting their steaminess outward, they attract sexual partners who worship them for the goddesses they are, not what Victoria’s Secret tells them they need to be.

2. It’s not about penetration.

Forget about needing a man to penetrate your vagina to get off. You don’t need it, or even him for that matter. Stimulation is about a full sensory experience. Expand your notion of who a sexual partner can be and what they have to offer. Most women find all that’s required is a generous and adoring mouth.

3. Slower is better.

What’s the rush? Take your time and allow the experience to simmer and evolve. The whole wham bam, thank you Ma’am thing is so 1980s. We’re living the 21st Century, people. What good are all these technological advances if not to enhance the quality of our sensual experiences?

4. Pleasure yourself.

In order to discover what really gets you off, explore and practice. And practice a lot. Women looking to improve their sex lives should be having at least one self-administered orgasm a day. Not only does it improve skin tone, but it also opens you up to being received in the universe as a sexual divinity.

5. Dress up to get off.

Remember how much fun you had as a girl putting on your mom’s pumps — or your dad’s underwear? What happened? Playing dress-up enables us to expand our minds to embrace new edges of sexual gratification. So order that nurse’s — or police officer’s — uniform that intrigued you online. Put it on and pleasure yourself or ask to be pleasured by a partner you find intriguing. Better yet, do both.


5 tips to having the orgasm of your lifeDr. Paul Hokemeyer is a Manhattan-based Marriage and Family Therapist. He is also a media personality who is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists and a FOX News analyst. He is on the panel of experts for the Dr. Oz Show and is frequently quoted as an expert in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, U.S. News and World Report, WebMD, Men’s Health, Self and others.  

About the author

Brazen Woman

BrazenWoman Editors share the latest and greatest tips, trends, reviews, contests and giveaways.

Get Brazen In Your Inbox

Sign up to receive our daily or weekly newsletter.