Are you a good kisser? More to the point, if your smooching skills sucked, would your man tell you? It’s no surprise that most of us think we’re pros at puckering up. Bad news. Valentine’s Day is almost upon us and a new survey by YourTango tells a different story. It found that a full 53% of people say their partner could use a little kissy-kissy help.
The top reasons? All yucky and all preventable: sloppiness (ewwww), bad breath (yikes), too much pressure (back off). If you listen to relationship expert and YourTango CEO Andrea Miller, you’ve got the control here.
To improve your kissing finesse, start by tuning in to the types of kisses your partner desires (What? There are kiss types?). Oh yes, since we all like to be kissed differently, find out how your partner takes his—whether that’s soft and slow, deep and passionate, or fast and fierce. You should also make it a habit to smooch every day, even if you have to make a reminder to do so in your smartphone. Even if you think you’re kisser extraordinaire, and maybe especially so, read on for ways to improve.
We won’t kiss and tell.
HEY BAD KISSER: 10 REASONS YOUR KISSING SKILLS SUCK
1. YOU’RE A PERMISSION SEEKER Rule Number 1: Don’t ask for permission to kiss. It’s weird. This one might be counterintuitive, but if you feel that you need permission, you shouldn’t be kissing this person. A kiss will only be good if both parties are into it, so skip the request and follow your gut. Your partner will thank you for it.
2. YOU’RE STINKY Chances are, no one will tell you the truth before the kiss. So do yourself a favour and pop a breath mint, just in case. There’s nothing worse than bad breath during a kiss. The funny thing is, this problem is so easy to correct and so hard to forget. Yes, sure gum can get in the way, but a breath mint is likely to last longer than the kiss. So keep them on hand at all times.
3. YOU’RE RUSHING IT The best kisses start slow. When you’re not familiar with your partner’s kissing style, it’s always better to start slow and pay attention to their reaction. Keep your mouth closed initially and slowly, slowly (did you hear that? S-L-O-W-L-Y) open your mouth and introduce a little tongue. Slowly. Get the picture?
4. YOU’RE SLOBBERING Remember: Keep it dry, at first. Nobody wants to feel like their face is being attacked or that they need to keep a towel handy to wipe you off. So take a few breaks in between kisses and swallow any excess saliva in your mouth. That’s yours, not his.
5. YOU’RE STALKING Do everyone a favour and close your eyes. While this isn’t the most important element to a good kiss, it does make the whole experience more sensual and focused. There are so many distractions, and a kiss should melt them all away. Keeping your eyes closed will help you focus on your partner and home in on what you both do and don’t like.
6. YOU’RE SMOTHERING Ease up on the pressure. If you feel like you’re constantly leaning further in, what’s really going on is that your partner is pulling away. That’s when you should be taking note, and stopping whatever you were doing. A kiss should be met halfway, so ease up on the pressure and let him come to you.
7. YOU’RE HANDS-OFF You want to get all handsy during a good kiss. A kiss is just one part of a full body experience. Most women love to feel their partners’ hands on their face, behind their necks, or running through their hair. The passion increases with other forms of touch, so take your kiss to the next level by using your hands.
8. YOU’RE ONE-TRACK Be sure to think outside the mouth. There are other places to kiss, as well, and they feel good everywhere. A kiss on the forehead can be the most intimate feeling, and closed-mouth kisses on the neck and shoulders convey love and respect like seldom other forms of kissing can. Try it. You’ll like it.
9. YOU’RE OUT OF BREATH If you’re kissing so hard you have to come up for air, your technique is way too aggressive. Make sure you’re allowing enough room to breathe because, well, you’re alive so that’s important.
10. YOU’RE OUTTA THERE Don’t rush off after the kiss. Instead, end it with a hug. The best kisses are emotional and convey feelings to and about your partner. So, when you’re wrapping up, take a moment to put your arms around him and enjoy the feel of his body. (Unless, of course, the kiss was terrible. Then run!)
YourTango is the #1 media company dedicated to love and relationships. The interactive platform allows its community of users, brands, and the world’s leading relationship experts to connect and engage where it matters most: the heart. Thanks to a robust network of partnerships with sites such as HuffPo, MSN, CafeMom, BuzzFeed, Fox News, and over 100 others, YourTango reaches tens of millions of users across the web every month. photo credit: torbakhopper HE DEAD via photopin cc