Trends. We love them. We want to know all about them. Trendy. We hate it. Get lost with that tacky label. So which is it for you exactly? If it looks good on you, who the hell cares if it’s in style? And conversely, if you look like hell in it, why buy it just because “they” tell you to? If you’ve got it, and you love it, do you now have to ditch it because it’s out? Here’s some good or bad news, depending on how you view it. We’ve just read the Google fashion trend report which measures what people are searching for when it comes to fashion and style. So here, we’ll run down the trends that Google says are HOT and NOT and give you our personal take on each. Get ready for some shock and awe, and to weigh in too. We want to know if you agree and why.
THE GOOGLE TREND REPORT
WHAT GOOGLE TREND SAYS IS HOT
1. JOGGER PANTS Randi: I knew these pants existed and I love them but who knew they had a name—and a stupid one at that? Comfy, yep. Jogging? Why? Mara: Trending now? These are so last year for me. I already have five pairs and counting. PS. Perfect for petite people.
2. WAIST TRAINER. Randi: Are you f*cking kidding me? (That’s all I’ve got.) Mara: I’m over 40 and my body is turning into a potato, and nothing will train my waist out of that. Plus, how can we have dance parties in those?
3. TULLE SKIRT. Randi: I would have traded my Barbie collection for this when I was 7. The ballerina look ended for me at 8. Mara: I’m a princess and I want a princess skirt for my birthday.
4. WHITE JUMPSUIT. Randi: I’d actually try this in the right cut. But I wouldn’t eat anything. Or sit anywhere. Or go to the bathroom. Mara: Let’s discuss. A. You have to get naked to pee every single time which at our age is every 12 minutes. B. What panties would you wear? C. No.
5. HIGH NECK BIKINI TOP. Randi: CHEERING! Anything that will flatter my shoulders, long waist and big boobs is my friend. Mara: But I LIKE to show off my cleavage! My husband says my boobs are still very perky. Besides it looks very confining. And we won’t mention the tan lines.
6. KALE SWEATSHIRT. Randi: Don’t know, and don’t wanna know. PS. This health trend is getting a little out of hand. Mara: *Googling* OH! Beyonce wore one. Now I get it. No I don’t.
WHAT GOOGLE SAYS IS NOT
1. SKINNY JEANS. Randi: OMG THANK YOU, LORD. And my waist and thighs thank you, too. Mara: OMG Noooo!!! I just started liking them! And what about all my high boots?
2. VINTAGE CLOTHING. Randi: BOO. Where will I sell my skinny jeans? Mara: Every day I cry for all the clothes I’ve thrown out over the years that had come back in. Now I don’t have to.
3. STRING BIKINI. Randi: Can’t say I care. Haven’t worn one since grade 9. Nor should anyone above a C-cup. Mara: I don’t really follow bathing suits trends. If my jobbly bits are contained, that’s all I care about. But I’m pretty sure men will be mourning its disappearance.
4. PEPLUM DRESS. Randi: Get out of my closet, Google. Keeping my peplum dress forever—and my 3 peplum tops. You suck. Mara: La-la-la, I can’t hear you.
5. SCARF VEST. Randi: Always hated it. Very Grandma. Mara: Wait! These are those cardigans without sleeves, right?
THE THINGS WE NEVER KNEW WERE IN STYLE IN THE FIRST PLACE—OR EVEN WHAT THEY ARE.
- Zoo Jeans
- Normcore Clothing
- Kale Sweatshirts (see above)
- Emoji Sweatshirts
So tell us: What trends are you loving and which ones are you ready to ditch? Or do you even care?
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