Recently, a friend posted this question on Facebook: How do you eke out time for just you and your partner? And it got me thinking about my love life. My husband and I both work shift work so we become like strangers sometimes. Our lives get super busy and suddenly it’s: Who are you again? You look like that guy from my wedding photos. There are days that we see each other just to high-five in the hall as one leaves the bed and one heads there. We learned, early on, that we need to make a special effort to spend time together. As friends online answered that Facebook question, sharing similar frustrations, I realized we aren’t alone. And I went ahead and made a list of all my favorite way to connect with your lover.
1. Do Stuff Together It sounds oversimplified, I know, but it’s true. Make sure to do something – anything – together, even if it’s mundane. Sure I can buy groceries or walk the dog alone, but I love it when The Guy comes with me. We talk about our day, our plans, our future, or even nothing much. But that 20 minutes of connecting deepens our relationship.
2. No Distractions Alone time together means making sure there are no phones, no computers, no television. It means that you sit, look at each other, and talk. For us, that talking usually takes place in our two-person tub where we drink coffee and share whatever we are thinking. When I was a kid, my parents used to set aside a half-hour every day to play cribbage. They would sit, play, and just use the time to enjoy being together. They taught me to not feel guilty for taking that one on one partner time and making it precious.
3. Schedule Bed Time Life gets busy, so why shouldn’t we? When our schedules are particularly crazed, we get out our calendars and set a date/time to get intimate. When our time is scheduled, I know not to schedule anything else. And thinking about what’s coming (tee hee!) gets me ready for the main event. I’m not saying pencilling it in is the only way to do it – but sometimes it’s the only way to make sure you do it.
4. Make Dates Forget deadlines and responsibilities, pets or kids. Get help and go out, even it’s only for a few hours. Pretend you are just at the beginning of your relationship and go on that date. Ask your partner out, make a plan, and be romantic. It’s your time to dress to the nines, put on makeup, do your hair, and remember why you fell in love in the first place. What do you do to make time for each other?