The older we get, the less we seem to be in the market for more friends. Between old friends, newer friends, work friends and family who feel like friends, sometimes it feels as if life can get pretty damn crowded. And yet, there is still the rare special woman who seems to pop up out of nowhere—and the friendship just sticks. Then there are the “BFFs” who have stuck around for longer than they should have. Either too much time has passed to catch up beyond the basics or the friendship hasn’t matured along with us. So sometimes it has to happen. Every now and then, the time comes to break up with a once upon a time friend who’s not going the distance.
How do you know when a friendship has reached its expiry date? Here are 9 signs it’s time to love her and leave her.
9 Signs It’s Time to Break Up With Your Friend
1. She’s running a race with you.
Everything you say, she tops it. You lost 5 pounds? I feel you! I lost 12! Can’t you tell?
2. She’s the mouse to your cat.
You suddenly realize one day that you’re in chase mode. You’re always the one calling or texting to talk or make plans because she’s “so busy”.
3. You’re her therapist but you don’t get paid.
Every time you talk, you’re exhausted and depressed. Her problems have become your problems because she talks about them non-stop. The worst part is she asks for advice, and you give it, but never takes it, so you know you’ll be back at it tomorrow.
4. Her compliments always sting.
Your new house is so CUTE.
Wow, you look so much THINNER!
5. She flirts shamelessly with your guy.
At parties, she somehow finds herself at his other elbow and her giggle punctuates his every joke, even the clunkers. You feel the urge to kick her in the teeth.
6. You can’t do anything right.
7. She’s never happy for you.
Instead, when you’ve got news to celebrate, she’s just sad for herself. Because hey, it’s all about her.
8. She’s a Debby Downer.
She never wants to go do anything fun. She just wants you to come over and drink wine so she can cry and snot all over you before you leave.
9. You haven’t seen the inside of her house in 5 years…
…But she calls right when you open your pool.